A Prize for Boys

Girls are so easy to shop for.  Boys are a little harder (in my opinion) to find rewards and prizes.  I love giving girls music jewelry, but that doesn't interest boys.  I've found the PERFECT reward for a boy!  Nanoblocks are like little mini Legos and there is this little violin set.  My daughter got this set and my son wanted to put it together so bad!  However, it was her set so I let her put it together and now we have a fun violin decoration.  

Bribes vs. Rewards

At my presentation at the Suzuki Association of Utah Convention recently I described the difference between bribes and rewards. I realize that I made a post earlier where I mentioned that I bribed my daughter to practice. I've started to take a new approach:

BRIBE: Something offered to a person to influence that person’s conduct.

For example: if your child is acting up during a practice session and you tell him that if he finishes the practice he can have a prize. You are offering him a prize after he had bad to good behavior. Perhaps the next time he wants a prize he will remember that he had to act up before you consented to give him a prize for being good.

REWARD: Something given in recompense for worthy behavior. For example: before you even start a practice session tell your child that he will get a prize after a good practice. He knows he can't act up or he won't get the prize. In the future, he will know that if he wants a prize he will have to have good behavior.

Bribe: If you practice I will give you _____________.

Reward: When you practice you will earn ______________.

Bribe: If you have a happy practice I will give you _______.

Reward: After your happy practice you can have _______.

Bribe: If you practice every day this week I will give you ______.

Reward: After you practice every day this week you will earn_______.

Start thinking about how you are addressing this issue with your children. I know I have caught myself wanting to say "if you..." but practicing (and other hard things for children, such as chores) goes so much more smoother if I offer rewards instead of bribes.

A SMART way to practice

My ambitious, excited 4-year-old wasn't so excited to practice this week. The first day after her lesson we started practicing and we only got three things done and my daughter sighed, "Mom, I'm running out of gas! I'll finish later." Well, after this was said there was no use. I tried to be upbeat, but I started to get irritated so I just quit practicing. And, because of my busy life - it didn't get done later either.

So, the next day I pulled out some treats from my studio. Smarties to be specific. There are 15 little Smartie treats inside a Smartie package and I told my sweet daughter that she could have one little treat every time we did something for practice. So, we bowed and said "Good Afternoon" and she got a treat. We did a bow exercise and she got a treat. It turns out that A LOT of practicing can get done with 15 little Smartie treats. Aside from the first day - this has been the best week of practicing.

{other things we practiced: Up Like a Rocket, Stirring the Witches Brew, chin holds, Tuca on E string, Tuca on A string, elbow stick, Pop Goes the Weasel, clapping rhythms, and everything all over again.}

Holiday Practicing

You will give your child a sense of the importance of practice if you
require practicing even on holidays.  You may think I'm a scrooge for making my kids practice on days like Christmas or their birthday, but it works!  Practicing on a holiday is a great way to make it different, unique, or fun.  Here are some ways to do so:

• Have your child pick her 5 favorite things to do - then practicing is done!
• Have a small present to open after practicing (this could be a special present that has to do with music, practicing, or their instrument.)
• Make it fun by doing an art project or craft - adding different sections between each song (adding feathers to a turkey or ornaments on a tree.)
• If it's Christmas - only play Christmas songs.
• Make a chain out of construction paper and put the name of a song on each link.  Either glue each link after they play, or have it already glued together and rip off a link and play what is on the paper.

Most of all - don't get upset about practicing on a holiday.  If it's not working - just stop!  The kids memory of the holiday should be a happy one!